Hello, and welcome, welcome, welcome to my very first podcast episode. How excited is this? So I have actually been doing, I think you would call it a vlog, a video kind of lesson for quite a while now. So actually, if you’re a bit of a YouTube fan, and you want to be able to see my face while I’m recording these, you can just hop on over to YouTube, and look me up. 

But I really wanted to find a way of reaching more people to be able to help them manage their mind and manage their emotions, I get very passionate, especially when it comes to mums, helping them to actually enjoy their kids enjoy their job, and enjoy themselves without all this shitty mum guilt. 

So I’m so glad you’re with me. And at some point over these episodes, I will tell you a little bit more about myself, and about my background and a bit more about what brought me into this work. But I really want to hit the ground running with giving you some really amazing tools to help you get started on your journey. 

Now, I did my coach certification with the Life Coach School in America. That’s an amazing podcast. By the way, The Life Coach School podcast by Brooke Castillo. That podcast literally changed my life. And I was always the type of person that knew it wasn’t the rain that made me miserable. I could just put on my raincoat, put on some wellies and splash in puddles or as long as I had somewhere dry to go to, I knew the rain wasn’t a problem. But it wasn’t until Brooke Castillo taught me the model, which is the method I know Coach on that I actually thought, oh my gosh, this is actually a thing other people in the world agree.

So this is the way that life works, right? This is like gravity is working, whether you want to take any notice of it or not. And I have to say, when my husband first heard this, he’s like, What are you talking about? That sounds like a load of bollocks. He is now a life coach as well. By the way, he also has his own podcast, the police burnout, Coach stress and the police stress and burnout coach, I think his podcast is called the job. So if you do have any policemen send them over to that podcast, because it would really help them. 

This is the way that life works only we have not been taught. We have never been taught this up until this moment in your life. You have probably thought like most of us and exactly like I did. But the weather makes us feel miserable. The other like something that someone said made us feel bad, or we need sugar to feel good, or think basically something outside of us. 

I used to here, did they make you feel bad? It makes you feel bad, or well don’t say that because you might upset them. As if, as humans, we are able to push an emotion into somebody else’s body. That is not how it works. We cannot actually push our emotions into someone else’s body. 

Now I’m going to do a whole episode all around emotions. So I’m not going to go into that this time. But what I really want to focus on this week is the difference between a circumstance or what I like to call a fact and then your brains drama. 

So life gives us situations, life gives us circumstances, situations and events that we have no control over. They could be things like the weather, equipment, breaking down, somebody else’s behaviour, your teenage children’s huffing, it could be technology, it could be your laptop, it could be your phone, it certainly the food of the dream. It could be money, the amount of money that you do or don’t have in your bank account. It could be your to do list. 

These are things that the universe gives us if the universe doesn’t resonate, please feel free to change the universe to God. Sometimes I will say God, but basically the world gives us, life gives us events, illnesses, bereavement, trauma. Life gives us things to deal with could be someone beeping their horn, it could be someone jumping in a queue, it could be someone wanting to give you a compliment. The circumstances are always neutral. 

Now, what I mean by that is, there are an event might happen. And you have two humans experiencing or witnessing exactly the same event, but have very different emotions about it. How is that possible? If it’s the situation that makes me feel the emotion, then all the humans would feel the same way. But that’s not the case. All the humans don’t feel the same way. And the reason that happens is because it’s not until your brain gets involved and your brain has a thought. It gives you an opinion, that you then feel an emotion, you have an emotional response to the opinion your brain is giving you. 

So life gives us circumstances, completely neutral until our brain gets involved and gives us a thought, our thoughts create our feelings. I’m gonna say this, again, your thoughts, create your feelings. And then how you feel drives all of the actions that you take in your life. And then depending on what you do, or don’t do gives you a result. 

Now, these steps I’m going to go into in more detail later in the next episode. But for today, I really want to focus on the facts. 

When you’re looking out your window, and you see the rain falling, it’s miserable is not a fact. And now, especially if you’re addicted, you might just heard that God Nicky, what the fuck you talking about? Like, of course, the rain is miserable. And you go into the shop and the shopkeeper will go live miserable today? Oh, yes, that everyone goes, Oh, yes, terrible, they’re terrible, they’re miserable. 

The rain is not miserable. 

A fact is something that every single person in the world could agree with. 

If you took the rain to a court of law, you took the weather to a court of law, not, everybody in the world is going to agree with you that the rain is measurable, there will be people that rejoice about it raining another example, and I’m going to use the weather just because I think it’s it’s a really beautiful way of starting to open up your mind as to why and how powerful your thoughts can be. 

 Another example would be, let’s imagine is bright, clear blue skies, and the temperature is 26 degrees. So we could go to a court of law, and we could prove in a court of law that 26 degrees was the fact because the weather station has recorded it the thermometers have recorded it. There is no question that it’s 26 degrees. Now when is 26 degrees and the clear blue skies out? My brain thinks oh my gosh, this is amazing. I love it. I love the heat. I love the warmth. I love the clear blue sky. And so when I think oh my god, I love it. I feel good. And then when I feel good, what do I do? I’m not gonna go about my day in a very light hearted manner. And probably humming maybe I was singing if you’re lucky enough to for my window to be wide open if you’re one of my neighbours. Me, I will leg my favourite tune. You know what see it all the positives in life Life is good. 

So when I’m when I’m kind of going about those that behaviour, I really enjoy my day. But that’s not because of the 26 degrees is because I’m thinking oh my God isn’t amazing. 

I have a friend called Janet. I love her so much. Maybe she had even listened to this podcast who knows? She does not like the heat. So when is 26 degrees outside? She is not happy? Because she is thinking, Oh, this is too hot. It’s too hot. Or when she thinks it is too hot, how she going to feel miserable. Then was she going to do half path mope about complain a bit sweaty, you make an emotional heat then as well as a physical and so it can’t come in Back to the circumstance. It can’t then possibly be the circumstance that makes the humans fail because we could all experience 26 degrees in clear blue sky but we would have very different opinions.

So this is really key. This is like one of the This is like the starting point of learning how to manage your mind.

Because your part of your human brain is old. So I’m not gonna go into the neuroscience of it. There’s loads of books out there, Dr. Joe Dispenza, does loads around neuroscience. So if you like reading, he’s amazing to either listen to an audio or one of his books. But I simplify it right down. So I separate out the primal brain, the primitive part of our brain to our higher brain and the prefrontal cortex. Now, you will hear me talking lots about this, over the coming episodes, but just simply, your primal brain is really old. And every single human has this part of your brain you use, the fact that you’re listening to me, you’re a fully functioning adult, means that you’re you have a primitive part of your brain. And that part of our brain is really designed to keep us safe. It’s designed to look for danger, you imagine, hundreds of 1000s of years ago when we lived in caves. And I think you and I think different, surely bad death, that we, you know, we we needed food, we needed to have sex, we needed to hunt and gather in order to survive, we needed to stay the warmth of a cave. Now, that part of your brain, by design, because it’s looking out for danger, and it really wants to do a good job of keeping you safe, is going to be negative, it’s going to be negative. So I promise you that the first thoughts that you have about any given situation is probably going to be negative. Mine is. Most people’s are not because there’s something different or unique about you, but because you’re human. And you have that human primitive brain. Luckily for you, though, however, you’ve also got your higher brain and your prefrontal cortex. And this is amazing, this is what makes you you, this is what you know, creates your personalities separates you, you know, this is your uniqueness. And this part of your brain has the absolute best advice for you. It knows exactly what you need to do in order to get what you want to get. But because your primitive brain is so loud, we listen, and then just believe that that voice is true.

In the next episode, I’m going to be talking all about thoughts. So make sure you tune in next week, but just for this week, understanding that nothing has gone wrong. When you have a negative sentence in your brain. When your brain, like naturally goes to negative, that’s normal. It’s normal. But just because your brain offers you an opinion, just like anybody else offering your opinion, opinions aren’t right, and opinions aren’t wrong. So just notice, oh, look at my brain given me opinion, and then sort of ask yourself, Is that a fact? Like, if I if we were actually there in person, and I was very lovingly coaching you right now, I would be asking you, is that true? Is it a fact would every single person in the world agree that it’s too hot, or it’s miserable if we use the weather analogy. 

Now, this might be tricky to do in your own head. Which is why it’s always really lovely. If you do have someone that is going to very lovingly call you out on your brains like negative bullshit. But what you will notice is you will notice other people’s lies so much easier. 

So I’m going to give you like a little takeaway, that I want you to just practice in between these episodes. Because listening to me is lovely. It’s you know, hopefully you enjoy it. Hopefully you find it quite funny, little bit light hearted, but if you don’t action, the lessons that you learn, you weren’t actually build the strength of like increasing your emotional resilience or increasing your control. We’re increasing your mind management skills. So over the course of this week, just listen to other people’s conversations with fasination, this is not a judgement exercise. This is not a reason to beat yourself up, or to beat another human up. We all have this negative part to our brain. But once you become aware of it and with just fascination, then you get to control it. And that’s when the fun starts to begin. 

So just listen to what other people have to say. And just ask yourself, Oh, could you put that in a court of law? Oh, isn’t that interesting? Look at the story that they’re telling themselves look at the look at the opinion that their brain is giving you giving them as if they have no choice. And listen, it feels like you don’t have a choice. When you first start this work, right? It feels like all the thoughts that your brain gives you are facts, but they’re not. A fact is something you can prove in the court in a court of law. 

This week, I just want you to start there. I just want you to start by noticing, right, okay, I’ve come across this event, or I’ve come across this situation or this scenario. What are the facts of this situation? You could even write it down. Write down like write what you could what is a really good exercise actually is if you write down all your brain’s thoughts, like just get it all out on a piece of paper again, without judgement. And then go back and circle the thought the facts. And you’ll notice that very little of what you’ve written down is actually factual. Which is brilliant. Because now you get to decide. Now you actually get to choose, what am I going to think? And I’m going to talk about more about your thoughts in next week’s episode. 

I really hope you’ve enjoyed my first podcast. I’ve loved speaking with you. And I will be back next week where we will dive deeper into the thoughts that you’re probably having about yourself, and more tips on how to manage them. 

Have an amazing week. Thanks for listening. Bye