Hello, and welcome to this week’s podcast episode, where I’m going to be talking to you all about your thoughts.  

Now, I’m going to be focusing very heavily on your thoughts about you. Because you are your most important relationship in your life. I don’t know if you’ve ever actually considered it that way, but you are you the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. Because you’re always with you.  

In the last episode, I talked to you all about circumstances. So please, if you haven’t listened to that, I highly encourage you to listen to that you could do it after this, it doesn’t have to be in order. But understanding that you are your circumstance, so you and your body is neutral, you are your circumstance. And depending on the thoughts that you have about you, or any other circumstance in your life, is what creates your emotions. So just to recap on the last episode, life gives us circumstances right? It gives us situations and events that we have no control over. There were other people’s behavior, illnesses and bereavement, the weather equipment breaking down, that also you light your body. And it is not until your thoughts get active, like your brain gets activated. And it gives you a whole heap of thoughts and opinions that then you feel a certain way the good ones and the bad ones.  

So there are two things that I really want you to take away from today’s episode. If you don’t really take on board. Anything else, please take on board this. Your thoughts are not backs. I’m going to say this again.  

Your thoughts are not facts.  

They’re just your points opinion. And other people’s thoughts, other people’s opinions. They are not facts. So you might have heard something before in your past, especially as a child, and you’ve never thought to actually consider now as an adult. Is this true? And even if it were true, even if it were a fact, is it helping me to continue thinking it? Is it helping me becoming the person I want to be? Is it helping me getting done what I want to get done? Is it helping me be more present with the kids, or you deal with this person in the way that I want to show up? Because that’s the point. That’s the part that you get to control. It all starts with you. And it all starts with this awareness over the thoughts that are happening in your head.  

So here are the some of the common thoughts that I hear a lot of my clients and other working mums, saying to themselves and actually saying out loud, as if they’re a fact. I’ve got so much to do. There’s just so much to do. I’m forgetful. A while I’m difficult, I’m high maintenance or I’m too demanding.  

So as I go down through this list, just notice if any of these thoughts are you might be one of them. It might even be all of them. Just with absolute fascination and curiosity. Just listen, listen to these thoughts and then start to listen to your brain and what your brain is telling you. So another one is well I’m a people pleaser. I’m not very clever. This is mine. I’m not clever enough. This was a thought that I believed for such a long time in my life. Another one of mine was I’m useless. And another favorite that I used to use to beat myself up with was I’m so pathetic. Oh, you’re so pathetic. Nicky, look at you, you’re pathetic. I’m not very confident. As if that’s a fact. I’m emotional. And actually, we are all emotional because that’s what makes us human. That’s what differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. I’m a perfectionist. And I just don’t know, I don’t know. I just don’t know.  

So when you hear those thoughts, they’re not very positive. They’re really not going to make us feel good. They certainly don’t create self confidence. Self Love, they just make us feel really shit.  

Now, there are some other thoughts that you might be thinking, you might also be thinking, Oh, I’m a nice person, you know, I’m kind of loving. I’m a really good listener. On I’m friendly, you might be thinking, Oh, actually, I’m quite intelligent. Or you might be sort of saying soft, you know what I’m really caring. They’re all thoughts we could not take so we could not take you into a court of law and prove that you weren’t very clever, or that you will useless, or that you were loving, or kind.  

So a fact is something that every single person in the world agrees with.  

And the only thing that everybody in the world would probably agree with is that you’re human. And that you have a name, we could prove to everybody with your birth certificate, and your identification that my name is. Nikki, obviously, your name isn’t Nikki, you want to use your name, but insert your name, I am Nikki. I am human.  

Because here’s the crazy thing, whether you’re telling yourself a negative thought or a positive thought, either way, you’re making it up. It’s not a fact. It’s a thought. And when you continue to tell those thoughts to yourself, that’s exactly what you end up creating. Because your thoughts become things.  

Now, I got taught this by Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School. But Google it, there are so many. There are so many leaders out there that are teaching this. This is how the world works. Thoughts become things. My mike Dooley, Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, they are all educating us. On this fact, only no one ever tells us. No. Do you know Nikki, you actually get a choice, you actually get to choose what you think about you, you actually get to decide what you think about any circumstance in your life. And to me, that is one of the most the most powerful things that I have, in my ability, the ability to choose the ability to decide, am I going to keep thinking that thought? Or am I going to stop believing it? Because here’s the problem with your thoughts. The initial thoughts that pop into your head will be from your upbringing, your caring, who looked after you experiences in your life, teachers, the media, marketing, religious communities, we hear so many thoughts throughout our upbringing.  

So our brain gets programmed with a set of belief systems. And a belief is just a thought that someone has had over and over again. But no one when you became a fully functioning adult said to you eight Did you know you actually get to decide what you believe you actually have a choice. And you can focus on the I’m forgetful as if that were a fact I’m a people pleaser, as if that were a fact. I’m not very clever as if that was a fact or I’m useless or hypothetical. I’m not very confident. And if you keep repeating that to yourself over and over again.  

Now knowing that thoughts become things, that’s exactly what you’re going to create. You’re going to create a useless version of yourself. You’re going to create a version of you that tries to please everybody, which you can’t do by the way, but that’s a whole other episode is going to produce a vs version of you that’s not confident. Or you can focus on the positives. You can focus on I’m a nice person. I’m really kind by favorite is I’m loving. I’m loving I will choose to love over any emotion. I don’t want to choose hate or frustration or annoyance.  

I want to choose love.