There are many things I can help working women with but here’s one of them…

I can help you stop adding a whole extra layer of emotional drama on top of something that is already hard.

And honestly? Perimenopause is a bloody brilliant example of this.

Not because I’m a doctor. I’m not.

Not because I’m a hormone specialist. Definitely not.

But because I am a mind and emotional management coach. And as a woman currently going through perimenopause myself, I know how easy it would be to let the symptoms take over the whole show.

The joint pain.

The brain fog.

The anxiety or dread that appears from nowhere.

The hot flushes.

The itchy ears. What the fuck is that about, by the way?

The random aches that make you feel like you’ve done the hardest workout of your life when, actually, you’ve done a bit of yoga and
walked the dog.

All of that is real.

All of that can be uncomfortable.

All of that might need support from your GP, a hormone specialist, medication, supplements, lifestyle changes, or whatever is right
for your body.

But that’s not the bit I’m talking about here.

The bit I want to talk about is the extra layer we add on top.

Because that’s the bit we can do something about straight away.

The symptom is hard enough without your brain making it worse

Let’s use a hot flush as an example.

You’re in a meeting, at lunch, in church, on a Teams call, or standing in the kitchen trying to remember why the hell you walked in there.

And then it happens.

Your body gets hot. Maybe you go red. Maybe you start sweating. Maybe you feel like someone has lit a fire from the inside out.

That is the physical symptom.

You may not be able to stop that in the moment.

But then your brain jumps in.

“This is awful.”

“This is embarrassing.”

“Everyone can see.”

“What is wrong with me?”

“I can’t cope with this.”

“This is only going to get worse.”

And suddenly, you’re not just having a hot flush.

You’re having a hot flush plus anxiety.

A hot flush plus embarrassment.

A hot flush plus shame.

A hot flush plus panic.

A hot flush plus a whole internal drama production that nobody asked for.

And that, my friend, is the bit that is optional.

Physical sensation and emotional sensation are not the same thing

A physical sensation starts in the body and sends a message to the brain.

An emotional sensation starts in the brain and sends a message to the body.

This matters because it shows you where your control is.

You may not be able to control when your body decides to have a hot flush.

You may not be able to control when your joints ache.

You may not be able to control when your brain forgets the word you were literally just about to say.

But you can learn to control what happens next.

You can learn to notice the thought spiral.

You can learn to interrupt it.

You can learn to stop making a hard moment harder.

And this is where emotional resilience becomes so powerful.

You don’t need toxic positivity

I’m not going to tell you to look in the mirror mid-hot flush and say, “I am a radiant goddess of hormonal transformation.” I mean,
crack on if that works for you.

But for most busy working women, that will feel like absolute bollocks.

The goal is not to be positive about everything.

The goal is to stop being dramatic about everything.

There’s a big difference.

Sometimes the most powerful thought available to you is simply the truth.

“I’m having a hot flush.”

“My joints are aching.”

“I’m experiencing brain fog.”

“This is anxiety.”

“This is dread.”

No apology.

No judgement.

No panic.

Just the fact.

Because the fact is much easier to handle than the story your brain has created around it.

What happens when you stop adding drama?

You create a calmer internal environment.

Not necessarily a joyful one.

Not necessarily a “woohoo, I love aching joints” one.

But a neutral one.

And neutral is powerful.

From neutral, you can take a breath.

From neutral, you can decide what you actually need.

From neutral, you’re far less likely to snap at the people you love.

From neutral, you’re less likely to huff, puff, moan, apologise for existing, or reach for wine, chocolate, crisps, or whatever your
brain has decided will numb the discomfort for five minutes.

And no judgement here, by the way.

We reach for those things because they work temporarily.

Alcohol, sugar, scrolling, overworking, keeping busy — they all give your brain a moment of relief.

But then the next day, you still have the symptom.

Only now you might also have a hangover, a sugar crash, worse sleep, more joint pain, more guilt, or another reason to beat yourself
up.

So the work isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about learning to pause before you pile more suffering on top of yourself.

Try this next time

When you notice a symptom, try this:

Pause.

Take one deep breath.

Name the fact.

“I’m having a hot flush.”

“My hands are aching.”

“I’m feeling anxious.”

“My brain feels foggy.”

Then ask yourself:

“What would be kind and useful right now?”

Not dramatic.

Not punishing.

Not, “For fuck’s sake, why am I like this?”

Kind and useful.

Maybe that’s getting some water.

Maybe it’s going for a walk.

Maybe it’s booking the GP appointment.

Maybe it’s resting without guilt.

Maybe it’s saying, “I’m struggling to find the word I want,” instead of apologising ten times and internally attacking yourself.

Maybe it’s deciding not to drink the whole bottle of wine because you’re learning to respect your body, not because you’re trying to be a
good girl.

That’s what self-kindness can look like.

Sometimes kindness sounds like, “No, no, no, we’re not doing that to ourselves today.”

This isn’t just about menopause

This is the really important bit.

How you respond to perimenopause is probably how you respond to lots of other things too.

The late email.

The messy kitchen.

The child who huffs at you.

The colleague who doesn’t do what they said they’d do.

The never-ending to-do list.

The plan that changes at the last minute.

The feeling that everyone wants a piece of you and there’s nothing left for yourself.

If your brain has a habit of adding drama, it will add drama everywhere.

And I say that with love, not judgement.

Because once you see it, you can start changing it.

You can ask:

“Where am I adding drama that isn’t needed?”

“Where am I making this harder than it already is?”

“What is the actual fact here?”

“What can I control?”

“What do I need right now?”

This is how you start taking your power back.

Not by controlling everything around you.

Not by making sure nobody is disappointed.

Not by having the perfect routine, perfect hormones, perfect plan, perfect body, perfect family, or perfect business.

But by learning how to manage your mind and emotions in the middle of real life.

This is what I help working women with

I help working women reduce the drama in their lives.

I help them create deeper connections with the people they love, instead of snapping, withdrawing, or feeling guilty all the time.

I help them get the important shit done without losing their shit.

I help them build emotional resilience so they can actually enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard to create.

Because you can have the best strategy in the world.

The most organised calendar.

The most successful business.

The loveliest family.

The house, the career, the plan, the list.

But if you’re not managing your emotions, you won’t be able to enjoy any of it.

And that’s the bit I care about.

Because you are not here just to cope.

You are not here just to get through the day.

You are not here just to keep everyone else happy while quietly disappearing under the weight of it all.

You are allowed to feel calm.

You are allowed to feel steady.

You are allowed to feel in control of yourself, even when life or hormones or other humans are doing their thing.

And if perimenopause is currently making you feel like you’re losing your mind, please hear this:

Nothing has gone wrong.

Your body is changing.

You may need support.

And you do not have to add shame, panic, guilt and drama on top.

Start with the fact.

Take a breath.

Come back to neutral.

That is where your power is.

If this resonated and you know you’re adding drama to things that are already hard, get in touch. This is exactly the work I do with busy
working women who want to feel calmer, more in control, and more like themselves again.